Tuesday, May 21, 2019
49 Simple Things You Can Do to Save the Earth Essay
Some of them, with their complicated timers and instant start-up features, evermore consume small amounts of electricity. (Even the TV? my wife asks. Good thinking, I tell her.)3. SEPARATE YOUR GARBAGE.At our ho aim we bind separate garbage houses for glass, paper, plastic, aluminum, wood, organic matter, natural fabrics, synthetic fabrics, and rubber. (We split the workmy wife does the separating, I drop e verything off at the recycling center.)4. USE LESS WATER.We film two bricks in our toi allow tank. lay aside in that locations a much simpler focussing to save water jadet flush every time ( striket take the sports section in there with you is my wifes tip. A sense of humor isso important.)5. wearT MOW THE LAWN.Let it grow. Naturally. analogous a meadow. (Like a dump jokes my wife.)See morePerseverance essay6. DONT SHAVE AS OFTEN.I shave once a week. (If its good enough for Don Johnson, I quip. That was pass years ago, my wife informs me.)7. DRIVE SLOWER.I try to mai ntain a n codswallop, cool off 40 miles per hour, the legal minimum on most highways. Also, I roll up the windows. It reduces wind ohmic resistance and noise. (You female genitalst hear those horns? my wife asks, incredulous.)8. SHOP WITH A RE-USABLE SHOPPING BAG.And, if you can, walk to the store. (Itll do wonders for your figure, I mention casually to the missus.)9. BOYCOTTBoycott polluters, or whatever superstar who sells any product that can cause pollution, or any product that might contain an ingredient that can cause pollution. (What does that leave? my wife asks. fitting the good stuff, I reply.)10. DO YOUR LAUNDRY BY HAND.It may be drudgery of the final order to have to hand-launder your clothes and hang them on a clothesline, but it saves water and energy. (Whistle speckle you work, I kid my wife. Hitler is a jerk, she continues. Id forgotten that verse)11. TURN DOWN THE HEAT. specially the water heater. (They take c sure-enough(a) showers in Sweden, I wish to hin t. Go to Swedenmy wife.)12. TAKE FEWER SHOWERS.But turn int share them, even if its been touted, albeit humorously, in other x-number-of-simple-things-you-can-do-to-save-the-earth books. Why? It uses more water. approximate it out for yourself. Better would be to take a bath in recycled bath water. Best An infrequent sponge bath. (No, Im not kidding, I tell the wife.)13. REPLACE METAL DOORKNOBS.During the winter, when its very dry, touch a metal doorknob and you get a little shock from the static electricity. Thats wasted electricity, I figure. Weve replaced all our metal doorknobs with ones made of non-conducting rubber, wood or glass. (Youve got a screw loose, my wife points out. And shes right)14. GO SOLAR.For a small investment of about ten thousand dollars you can convert your house to solar energy. Itll pay for itself in twenty years, I estimate. (What next? my wife wonders, as we all do.)15. MOUNT A WINDMILL ON YOUR ROOF.Its cheapabout eight blow dollarsand easy to instal l. (A little more to the right, I yell up to her.)16. sack YOUR OWN HONEY.In addition to producing delicious honey, our beehive is a real conversation starter. (We have to talk, my wife says. See?)17. arrive at AT HOME.Recently, I quit my job of twenty years to become a full-time writer. I write at home, on a computer. Im not using up any gasoline or motor oil, Im not wearing out any change state or shoes. To put it simply Im not a drain on the environment. (You dont move, my wife observes, exaggerating slightly.)18. BOARD UP THE WINDOWS.Windows are nice, but they either let in in any case much heat, or let out too much, or vice versa. (This is better than mini-blinds I song to the wife, who can barely hear me over her own hammering.) 19. descend RID OF THE TELEPHONE.Think you cant live without a telephone? Think again. Weve done attractive. (Who would roar us? my wife rationalizes.)20. GET RID OF THE BED.Many leading chiropractors say that sleeping on the floor, with no mat tress or cushion, is the best way to sleep. (We certainly havent needed a bed much lately, my wife confides to a mutual friend.)21. GET OUT AND ORGANIZE.At my wifes suggestion, I got out of the house and into the communityto organize. now I work with a diverse group of community activists and we meet four times a weekat our house. (Whoare these people? my wife asks. They are the people, I tell her proudly.)22. BAN ALL CHLOROFLUOROCARBONS.not just spray cans, but the refrigerator and the air conditioner. Get rid of them We now have ice delivered to our house every day. (Youre crazy my wife squalls from the kitchen. So was Van Gogh I shout back.)23. TREAT WOUNDS NATURALLY.If youre injured, cut on the head, above the eyebrowfrom a sharp piece of ice, lets saytreat it naturally. Salt and lemon juice is the combination my wife favors. (I command a divorce, she says, pouring salt on my wound. Ouch I say.)24. KNOW THE LAW.And know a good lawyer. (My wife does.)25. WHEN YOU MOVE, BE A G OOD NEIGHBOR.Having recently relocated to a smaller environmentan apartmentI can empathize with anyone who has had to go through a moving experience as I call it. Remember, along with a new habitat come new co-inhabitants. Get to know them. They are your neighbors and, as simplistic as this sounds, they are the keys to your survival. (When I explain this simplistic theory to one of my new neighbors, shes fascinated. Maybe the beard works)26. CARPOOL.At my new part-time job I carpool with a pas de deux of the ladies from the office. Were saving gas, money, and were acquiring to know each other better. (He used to have a fear of intimacy, my wife tells the judge. On the advice of Barry, my lawyer, I can say nothing.)27. MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR.I know, I know. But, if I could just use one earth-saving tip to draw your attention to the beautiful and cosmic experience of making love with a truly giving and understanding sexual partner. (Takethat, you lying, blood-sucking witch)28. packet YOU R SHOWERS.Ive done a complete one-eighty on this one. Use a kitchen timer. (Or Ravels Bolero)29. WOMENOr should I say, women judges (This just in She gets the car, the houseeverything except the profits from this book, Dear Reader.)30. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE.When soulfulness (especially someone much younger and less experienced than yourself that you only met two weeks ago) tells you that one person cant make a differencethat no matter how much shouting and yelling and whining and complaining one person does nothing will change, that youre too octogenarian to be acting that way, that you should settle down and focus on one thing and do that wellwhen someone lays that trip on you, its time to split. (I can make a difference I tell her, gathering my things.)31. BUNDLE AND RECYCLE NEWSPAPERS.Sorry, I lost sight of what were trying to do here, which is save the earth. Take all your old newspapers, bundle them together, and bring them to a recycling center. Theyll give you a few bu cks, which is nothing to sneeze at. (What happened?)32. BUY A RECYCLED CAR.There are some good deals in used carsif you take the time to look. (I didnt, and boy am I sorry.)33. DONT LITTER THE HIGHWAYS.Be considerate. There are laws, but theyre rarely enforced. (Except in my case, of course. I told the officer I wasnt living in my carit had broken down, I was tiredbut A $100 fine for vagrancy, a night in jail, a towing charge of $75, and a ticketIm getting rid of this damn car)34. KEEP FIGHTING.Thats right. No matter how tough it gets, the fight to save the earth will go on, with or without you. (Right now its without. Im back to my old habits againsmoking, drinking, and hanging out with a bunch of losers. One of them is a real nut, calls himself The Master.)35. DONATE superannuated CLOTHING.There are people out there who can get some good use out of your old moth-eaten sweater or sports jacket or worn-out pair of shoes. (Im a 41 short.)36. FOLLOW THE MASTER.The Master has forged a n alliance with the human spirit that allows him to speak flat and simultaneously to every living thing on this planet. (Follow The Master.)37. THINK FOR YOURSELF.Take it from someone who, after having his self-esteem obliterated by a persuasive con man and his gang of sycophants, escaped on initiationwith nothing to eat for nine days but wild berries and mushroomsand lived to talk about it (You might have seen the story in the papersDAZED FOLLOWER OF DIZZY GURU FOUND ON FREEWAY)38. HI, HOW ar YOU?I knew it was her before I picked up the phone. (The cobwebs that covered the receiver were now sticking to my face. Fine, I said.)39. DONT BE FOOLED.A wise consumer is a protected consumer. (I told my ex this when we got together for some Irish coffee at the mini-mall, near the old house. She ended up selling that barn forget this$650,000 Honey, it seems like old times I whooped.)40. RECYCLE REVIVE RERUNExcuse my exuberance, but something is finally adventure out theresomething positi ve, something good. People are separating their garbage. Theyre using biodegradable, ecologically safe, recyclable and reusable materials. Everything old is new again (When my ex-wife and I decided to re-marry, I suggested a Save the Earth clause be added to our pre-nuptial agreement. We have to talk, she said, showing great interest at the time.)41. MOVE TO THE COUNTRY.Inherit the land again. Thats what we did. Bought forty-three acres in Upstate New York. Its a working farm, where my wife can go out to the barn and milk the cows, pick out the freshest eggs and knit our clothes from the wool she lop from our very own sheep. (And I can finish this book)
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